I don’t know about you but I am sick and tired of other people telling victims/survivors to hide abuse under the rug. This is a serious issue that keeps abuse and abusive situations normalized.
If the person you are speaking to about what has transpired does everything to shift blame back onto you then thats a clear indicator that they are not equipped to understand abuse. If they struggle with demonstrating empathy then they need to refer they victim/survivor to someone else.
People need to stop telling victims to enable abuse because they are the party that can be spoken with. I see this behavior run constantly and consistently in familiar situation.
That’s abuse while the abuser remains unaccountable.
This is a hot and difficult topic to talk about because people are afraid to go there.
It’s a fact that flying monkeys, enablers, and others will press a victim to forgive and coerce them to submit to the abuser because having the same conversation with an abuser rarely happens.
People find that holding an abuser accountable is difficult because an abuser is full of pushback. The person who tries to hold the abuser accountable will suffer the same expulsion/banishment treatment. Sometimes being a victim, a survivor, or a thriver is isolating work. But even then, being free of this whole situation is better than being stuck in the cycle of abuse.
I rather have less people around me who DO NOT enable coercion and abuse. This is a life saving choice.