You can be 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞 and....
- Advocate for your needs
- Be selfish with your time
- Protect your energy
- Decide to love people who aren’t good for you from afar
- Stand up for yourself
- Not allow others to take advantage of you
- Set 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (yes even with spouses and family)
- Speak your mind
- State your opinion
- Say no
- State limits
- Decide how you want to live your life without over explanations
Being nice is not rolling over and letting other people’s needs come before yours constantly regardless of their label.
Redefine what being nice means to you. If being nice means letting other people dictate your life, then you aren’t living for you. Chances are that you aren’t even listing yourself as a priority.
Niceness isn’t putting up with everyone else’s antics like you are an endless empty recycling bin. Many people have the wrong idea of what being nice is because they have been conditioned to tolerate abusive treatment.
Take the time to learn how to break this conditioning. There is nothing wrong with asking questions about things you do not understand, things you are not clear about, and/or trying to understand the situation better. So many have been shamed and labeled improperly about being curious and pushing back the status quo.
How many people have been labeled as angry and/or disrespectful for trying to figure out difficult concepts that are not making sense?
Asking questions is the first step in curiousity. Allow people around you to question you. Allow yourself to ask questions instead of going with the group flow. If you have children, let children ask you questions. This is great parenting to break the people pleasing mentality.