When your mom tries to give you advice but SHE’S THE PERSON YOU CAN’T ‘GO TO’.
The #motherwound runs deep when your mom doesn’t do right by you. What this means is that they didn’t even do the bare minimum by you during your childhood and it continues into your adulthood.
For some gaslighting reason people are subjected that a mothers job “ends” at some point. Here is the story, when you become a mother that is a label that stays with you forever. It is up to that same person to do that job forever. There is no expiration date on being a parent (yes, fathers are included but this isn’t a father post) I’m talking about mothers right now.
Being a mother is forever. You can’t just throw your title around when it’s convenient for you (mother’s day, birthdays, guilt trip days, manipulating days, parentification days....)
Many of our mothers have exploited the hell out of their label which is why you have trust, anger, suppressive, avoidance, minimizing, enabling issues. I’ll include myself in this. Don’t think for one second that I’m shaming anyone. This is what reality is for some of us.
Some mothers pretend to give advice to come in when their children (adults or not) are going through a hard period to exploit them even more. Their mothers swoop in and act like short term rescuers. But what they are actually doing is coming in with a “rescuer” hat on and then hooking their child and making them pay for going (low contact/ grey rock/ or no contact).
Why am I talking about this? Because right now is a sensitive time for us all. People are subconsciously going back to their survival mode because it’s what we know. If you’ve broken a boundary, no contact, no shame to anyone. Your empathy is a beautiful thing but it’s not a resource you should give away easily. Know there are actual predatory people who look for empathetic people to exploit.